GRRRRRR!!!!!!

why do i even bother trying anymore!?!? i make plans with the husband to spend time together, and he either is too tired, or too lazy to follow through. he begged for a second chance, and does nothing to make our marriage better..yes, he is not fucking other women anymore, great..but he is doing nothing to work on us...we dont talk about anything deeper than who is picking up the kids or the groceries. we spend no time together, although i have tried to plan things with him... what is the point? why do i continue to torture myself , believing that things will work out...he doesn't work for anything in his life. and i am oh so tired of trying

In my garden I consult with Nature, lay the worries and tensions of the day neatly at the feet of the Mother, and then grow something beautiful in their place: a renewed sense of self and spirit.

friday morning

an hour of bodyflow..body feels better...heart is still heavy...time is magical...it heals all, albeit slow as hell...but then its only been 3 months since my world fell apart..i suppose i am doing fairly well considering....or at least i am creating a good illusion for the world to see....at night alone i shatter into a million pieces all over again...

today is gray

how does one let go of the past, how does one live through a great betrayal of trust?
i have no idea how to forgive or forget..i dont even know if i can....
the future is a gray haze of nothing....i am working hard at just getting through each day...some days are really good...some are just gray....i dont know anything anymore...

just gone

lost in a wilderness of emotion
no light to guide my way
blind , bruised, and battered
by your lies and deceit
all i thought i knew as true
is lost
trust and love trampled
ground to dust beneath
betrayal
how can i rebuild
what can be made from dust
grabbing handfuls
i watch sadly
as our life together
sifts through my fingers
carried away
by the winds of change.

becoming positive

May this day be blessed with gifts
Lessons, understanding and friends
May my energy be a gift to all I meet
Let me be centered, healing and open
May I face the day with courage
kindness, insight and compassion
May my spirit and body, honor this day

~abby willowroot~

drama free zone

I am slowly creating a drama free zone. removing those people from my life who are toxic people, liars, drama queens, etc. so why do they keep wanting to come back?!?!?!?! why can't they just go off on their own path and stop straying onto mine..there is a reason you are not making it into my future. honesty and integrity are my core values....if they are not yours walk on by....