fresh look

taking a fresh look through tear washed eyes
i see clearly the our compatibility is questionable
we do not hold to the same values
we do not have similar goals
we are as different as night and day
i look at you now, and wonder
what was i thinking
i have evolved and changed
i am not the same person you married
and i am tired of forgiving you
for defiling the sanctity of our vows
i know you say
you are on the straight and narrow road
you are going to be a good husband
i say ..for how long
i think you are 12 years too late
i have no faith left in you
our bridge of trust has been destroyed
i don't think the phoenix can rise from these ashes
my river of tears has washed them all away

breathe

that's what i keep telling myself
just breathe, slow and deep
until the anger passes
until the rage subsides
until i no longer want to slam my fist into your lying face
today, i try to breathe
to let this betrayal flow into the river of the past
breathe
and find my balance again
breathe and find my inner peace
i am not this angry person
how can one change so much in 4 months
breathe
find myself again
lost in disillusionment
lost in a sea of pain
breathe
don't drown in this mess of emotion
breathe
just breathe

liar liar

this is the face of deceit. lips full of lies, eyes hiding her deceitful actions. she told me she was my friend, she told me she loved me like sister, then she had sexual relations with my husband, coming onto him like a hussy rubbing her boobs in is face and shoving her hands down his pants. and she lied for 8 months from june 2009- march 2010...she lied to my face. he should have walked away, but she manipulated him. and now she says he came on to her..liar...the whole town has seen the way you behave when you are drinking at the bar, throwing yourself at random guys.. i personally separated your face from three different guys at the black bear..and had to carry you to the car. my only wish is that everyone can see you for what you truly are..a lying deceitful home-wrecking whore.

Roses

From my garden

awake

a quiet wednesday morning. i watch the sun creep slowly up over the mountain. all is quiet and peaceful...except for fluffy the bunny, i can hear him re-arranging his cage. i am thinking today will be a good day to take the ninja to work. to feel the freedom and solitude , the joy of dipping low into the twisties....

just another day

today i woke up n a strange mood, feeling all shel silverstein , rain in my brain. traveled the garden , checked on the new blooms. went to work, left early. took my middle child to the airport to meet up with her dad. she is spending the summer in florida with the other half of her family. I am excited for her, but i will miss her terribly!! thank goodness for technology. she has a cell phone to send pics, texts, and call mom to say goodnite :)chillen at home now with a glass of red wine. just another day.

poke-o-moonshine

we hiked poke-o-moonshine mountain yesterday. actually had a nice afternoon. enjoyed the beauty of nature, and the cardio workout of climbing 1543 feet in 1.2 miles.