Almost Christmas

It's been 14 years.. and still I miss her just as much . I miss her voice and her smell , and the way she always knew when i needed her...still need her....wish i could talk to her everyday. She is responsible in a huge way for who I am today.  I thought it was supposed to get easier over time, but every year when it's almost christmas my heart aches. I miss you Grammie.

river goddess

BodyPump today..reshaping my world...really want to go hiking this weekend...not sure if i will have time...two weeks till disney...trying to fit in my swim suit....

beautiful

strange days

today just feels weird..slightly out of phase...can't put my finger on it exactly but something is definitely out of whack.. like walking in a dream and the timing is slightly strange. twilight zonish even.

reflecting on recent events

so many thoughts whirring around in my brain, how to catch them... Facebook is blowing up with outrage over injustice...over the murder of one child..it was tragic and sad... and yet thousands of children die in wars every year and they are not mentioned....even here in the U.S. children  are killed, missing, abused every day ..yet there are no porch lights on for them...I understand the outrage, the feeling of wanting to make it better somehow...but how is posting on Facebook going to do that. We have become a ME society. selfish , narcissistic ... We throw away things we don't want , or that get in the way of our perceived happiness. We no longer have a sense of respect and community ...You really want to change things, to make sure that this doesn't continue to happen.. then teach your children a respect and reverence for all life, teach them love, teach them honesty, teach them courtesy...teach them to care for their neighbors, to help others when they can, teach them how to build community ..teach them to value resources... to take care of the things they have.. so when they grow up it will never be okay to just throw away, or kill, or do anything they have to for their own happiness.

5am thursday morning

 

                                   What strange breath blows eerie spine tickling nostalgia

                                     senses standing pikes ready guard against unknown 

                                       assault unseen energy tricks to memory eyesight 

                                          where is the soulstrong girl I used to know