Some days

Some days I find it hard to get out of bed.  facing the next 8 hours is just too much.
some days I want to run away from all responsibility, take the yoke off my shoulders and find fun.
some days I want to come home and snuggle in your arms because the day has been too everything.
some days I am so tired of doing it alone I want you here to share the joys and sorrows.
some days I struggle to find my smile and paste it on my face, my heart just isn't in it .
some days i look at how far I have come and how far I have to go, and wonder, is it worth it
some days I am overwhelmed , It's all too much and I have to fight back tears.
some days what I want most in the world might as well be buried in a galaxy far far away.
some days I am drowning and there is no rescue and I can't find the energy to save myself.
some days I just want to quit everything.

but I get up , and some how I make it through each day. I struggle on. I only hope that someday all this waiting , all this work, this long road I am walking alone will lead to something so amazing I can look back and say...yeah I would do it all again.

good customer service...where oh where have you gone?

so today I went to the mall and stopped in the custom t's shop to get a minion shirt for my girls. I walked into the store and the clerk was on her cell phone. She did not even acknowledge she had a customer. I then asked her the price of the shirt, she looked annoyed and said "those are 10 dollars on clearance " and went back to her cell phone conversation. I picked out two shirts and while she was putting the decals she continued her phone conversation " I was in the hospital yeah I have stomach issues. I'm doing great here. I don't really have friends ...the people here are (looks at me) YOU KNOW.." and on and on . at the end of the transaction I said " when you have customers it would be polite to put your cell phone down and interact with them" she said in a very snarky tone " it's my aunt she has cancer" I said " ok but customer service is your job and you're not doing it" she gave me a look that could kill. so I went to the mall office and filed a complaint. There is no excuse for rudeness , and disrespecting the population shopping in your store is like shooting yourself in the foot. Good customer service brings repeat customers. Being a completely self absorbed snarky bitch does not.

feeling crafty

I have the urge to create , alas, I am not in possession of crafty materials....oh the downfalls of vacation. I need to make a portable sewing room .

end of an era

and so ends the 17th annual NYC tattoo Convention at Roseland Ballroom. a beautiful mix of people from all walks of life brought together through art. although they will hold the convention in another venue next year.... I will miss the history and nostalgia and character of the Roseland Ballroom. I have made some wonderful friends at the convention over the years.. some who I now consider family. some of the best people I know are tattooed and pierced with hearts of gold.

Photo by Jeni Ferguson

I really enjoy taking photographs. It's a relaxing way to explore my world. I like watching the way light plays on objects, watching people candid and free. interesting architectural shapes. shadows dancing . capturing the beauty and strength of nature. the desolate sadness of abandoned places. the pure joy of the human spirit. photography speaks to my creative soul and encourages me to really SEE the world. I am going to try to spend more time viewing the world through my lens.

destruction of deceit

I am always hurt to discover one whom I had thought trustworthy is not. Each time destroys a little of my faith in humanity. My relationship with that person is forever changed for I can no longer believe on faith what is said , and all past interactions are re-examined for darkness and deceit. Trust is such a simple and fragile thing , so long to build, so quickly destroyed. Even if one's home environment was not conducive to teaching honesty and integrity, it is something which can be learned . One can always rise above and be better, especially when shown by word and deed a more positive way to live.

do you ever wonder
how our lives would differ
if we let go of time

freed our mind
to follow the soul
into blissful wanderings