thanksgiving

what an interesting holiday. shouldn't we celebrate family and give thanks for good things everyday. and really the original premise of the holiday is morally disgusting. i guess i wouldn't mind so much if we got away from the sugarcoated scenario that is forced upon our children in school of pilgrims and native americans sharing and celebrating together.

facade

Don't trust you with my thought heart soul song 

hide it deep down dark away

master mason working pain stone built

deep cavernous spaces storing beauty

cracked shattered locked tight doors

sealed securely hidden

you see a pretty face gypsy dancer

colors flashing freely joyous

smiles delightful

bubbling mirthful meaningless babble

safely superficial shielded

scrutinizing eyes perceive only

what they pre-conceive

you will never know ME.

strange silent anticipatory hush

fog drifts caressing earth to sky

feeling stirring...blood tingling

spine chilling...hair raising...CALM

breathing in dim semi dark

empty mindscapes building

energy coils predatory patience

hidden quietly slipping eerily

just beyond my eyes hearing 

what is this dementia fueled dreaming

wakeful fearlust shaking foundations

untrustworthy senses lost

what was known ..direction un-given

walk into white..drown in the sky

out of the nothing reaching straining

seeking to feed imaginations' fire

burning mind touch inspires insanity

birthing new vision shapes into the mist

random poem written by the river

words carry thought power arrows to her soul
unintentional wounding old scars barely healed
reveal carelessly tossed knives of truth breaking
the girl slowly crumbling apart perceptions her self
filtering through the ether of your vision mirror
reflecting strangely familiar pieces mistakenly
considered to be her whole being crying out
soundlessly for understanding

emotional riptides tearing down carefully constructed
walls of indifference glimpses of eternity glisten in her eyes
feeling expectation weighted sadness sift into heart spaces
once again hopeful wings broken bruised enclosing her
Self cocooned in awareness she contemplates letting go
of timeless egocentric delusions unreal thought forms
release their grasp dissolve into darkness she waits

entombed safe in the recesses of her mind transformed
inside out renewal forging fires of pain and sorrow create
strength deep in bone hallows rebuilding soul shattered
dreaming changing essential pieces the whole being
becoming present moment divinity emerging fully formed
goddess breathtaking beauty ready to take wing

Rocky Horror in NYC

so in honor of the 35th anniversary of Rocky Horror, we went to the theatre in Chelsea and watched what i must say is the best showing of Rocky Horror I've seen. 

veterans day

thinking today of all my brothers and sisters in arms 

all those who chose to put their lives in a holding pattern

to defend and protect freedom for everyone

thank you

spent the day in solitude rambling along the upper hudson river searching for something i can't define, to fill this empty space in my soul. breathtakingly beautiful destroyer serenely flowing without care , what is time to a river....

playing around by the river in the rain.

stuff and clutter

sticks and stones break my bones words cut deeper bleeding
wounds never heal all that's good in me seeping slowly
into bleakness empty despairing soulless zombie wandering
through this life of purgatorial bullshit rhetoric
bewildering , simply selfish mother fuckers pushing my
sanity threshold limits..boundaries bursting corrupting madness
flowing freely unleashing vengeful thought forms
just let go untwist the nightmare emotional
nuclear core meltdown expanding fetid fantasy
death dreams drowning , insanity steals hopeful breath
annihilating feeling ....release the maelstrom...
finally .....serenity....

november

it's a new witches year, I am remembering my grandmother, and great grandmother...two strong beautiful capable women who's blood runs in my veins. I have the power to create my reality, to spin my happiness from gossamer stars , and drift in the peace of the ages. dancing with the goddess on moonlit nights , I am She and She is ME entwined spiraling into eternity. blessed be.