moon dreams

moon dreams
photo by Jeni Ferguson

Friday, March 15, 2013

calvary cemetary

Calvary Cemetary NYC
photo by Jeni Ferguson
I spent last weekend in NYC, wandering the Calvary Cemetary. It is the first cemetary I have been in that actually felt like sacred ground. When you enter the gates , the noises of the city seem hushed. I could feel the quiet serenity surround me with a melancholy cloak of peace. Wandering the stones , reading the stories of lives long past, soaking in the beauty and artistry of the stones.

wondering at the humanity inscribed in marble. One could believe in miracles in this space. stepping outside time, a feeling of infinity.

and sadness at the neglect of ancestors' rest, families long forgotten, their descendants not knowing or caring from whence their blood was born. as I travelled deeper into the sanctuary I could almost believe that vampires roamed the grounds

artistic castles built to house souls who never see. still wondering what the heavy chains and padlocks are keeping inside......

Saturday, March 2, 2013


Last night Sarah told me she has seen one of the spirits who share the house with us. Very casually she says "mom, I have seen the man", "he stands in my bedroom doorway , but only when the door is open".
 "oh", I said. "what does he do?"
"nothing" she answered. " he just stands there in the low light"

apparently she only sees him at dawn or dusk and she doesn't feel threatened or afraid in any way.

I wonder if that used to be his kids room. maybe he is checking on her .

the little boy spirit tugs my clothing sometimes, like he's trying to get my attention. It's interesting living with spirits.

Previous inhabitants of this house have had bad experiences here. According to my friend who sees/feels spirits they like us. They like the love and laughter we bring here.

Friday, March 1, 2013

i love my bathroom.

yesterday morning I woke up , went to the bathroom , walked the dog, and made tea just like I do every other morning. I sat down to take a sip of tea and that's when things went very wrong. My stomach said oh hell no! and I spent the next 30 minutes dry heaving in the bathroom. After snuggling the cool porcelain for an interminable length of time , I finally felt steady enough to stand. I made it to the kitchen before the next wave of nausea struck and I wash rushing back to my new best friend. I again hugged my porcelain paramour for what seemed like forever , but was in reality probably 20 min. I forced my self to get up and wake  the kids up for school, and then returned to the bathroom for go round number 3, which is when I did something that I never do. I took a sick day and stayed home. I am wise enough to know that if my belly rebels every time I move around, then I will be no good at work. I absolutely hate calling in sick, I feel I have a responsibility to live up to my end of the bargain. So, I snuggled in my recliner and dozed in between bathroom visits. by mid afternoon the worst of the nausea had passed and we were on to watery bowels. In hindsight, I suppose that is a good sign , as it means the bug was working it's way out; or possibly my butt was jealous of my belly's relationship to the porcelain goddess. Either way by about 730pm I was ready to try food , a little chicken soup. My gut clenched and generally made it's unhappiness known, but I managed to keep the food down.

Fast forward to this a.m. , I am feeling much better. A bit of a headache from not getting enough fluids, but I am hydrating as I type. I am a little tired, my stomach is still not 100 % happy but at least it is keeping tea down this morning. I am thankful for this. As for the bowels, I think they are getting back to normal, although I think I can out gas Pumba right now.  I can say I never want to go through that again. I absolutely hate vomiting, and being sick in general.