What do I want to be.....

what a simply difficult question. The easy answer is I want to be happy. The difficulty arises in learning how to let go of all those past hurts ...learning how to see events clearly in the present...rather than through the dingy gray filters of the past. how to keep  emotional scars from whispering painful memories into present moments. how to find the strength of spirit to continue living positively in the moment while trying not to be sucked into a black hole of negativity created by stress,guilt,loss,trauma,etc.....dancing each day to avoid that straw that you know will break your back can be very exhausting....how does one live happily ever after????