beautiful

strange days

today just feels weird..slightly out of phase...can't put my finger on it exactly but something is definitely out of whack.. like walking in a dream and the timing is slightly strange. twilight zonish even.

reflecting on recent events

so many thoughts whirring around in my brain, how to catch them... Facebook is blowing up with outrage over injustice...over the murder of one child..it was tragic and sad... and yet thousands of children die in wars every year and they are not mentioned....even here in the U.S. children  are killed, missing, abused every day ..yet there are no porch lights on for them...I understand the outrage, the feeling of wanting to make it better somehow...but how is posting on Facebook going to do that. We have become a ME society. selfish , narcissistic ... We throw away things we don't want , or that get in the way of our perceived happiness. We no longer have a sense of respect and community ...You really want to change things, to make sure that this doesn't continue to happen.. then teach your children a respect and reverence for all life, teach them love, teach them honesty, teach them courtesy...teach them to care for their neighbors, to help others when they can, teach them how to build community ..teach them to value resources... to take care of the things they have.. so when they grow up it will never be okay to just throw away, or kill, or do anything they have to for their own happiness.

5am thursday morning

 

                                   What strange breath blows eerie spine tickling nostalgia

                                     senses standing pikes ready guard against unknown 

                                       assault unseen energy tricks to memory eyesight 

                                          where is the soulstrong girl I used to know

reflect on your wisdom nature- exercise for day one

When have you felt deeply at home in your own skin....
I feel most comfortable in my own skin, most at peace, most centered and relaxed when i am doing things i love..gardening, sewing, riding my motorcycle, teaching yoga...at these times i feel connected and whole. grounded and hooked in to my deeper self. I don't think this connection ever leaves, but i think sometimes i forget it is there. In times of stress, and trauma and in daily life i forget i have this energy to ground into. life would be simpler if i could remember to rest in this deep calming energy ...remember to take moments to breathe and center. remember that regardless of the choices i have made , the life i have lived..that i have a spark of divinity in my heart . learning how to let it shine is my journey. learning how to carry calm joyful grounded energy always in my heart...being comfortable in my own skin when faced with uncomfortable situations. a knowing of my true self will provide strength to persevere no matter the obstacles in my path.

Everyday Dharma

so new adventure.. Everyday Dharma (seven weeks to finding the buddha within you)  by Lama Willa Miller... a daily journey to rediscovering what i've lost...and discovering who i can become. " step one of your spiritual journey is to discover that you have the potential to awaken your innate wisdom nature" so since the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step...off i go on a wild self inspectionary adventure .....wish me luck

What do I want to be.....

what a simply difficult question. The easy answer is I want to be happy. The difficulty arises in learning how to let go of all those past hurts ...learning how to see events clearly in the present...rather than through the dingy gray filters of the past. how to keep  emotional scars from whispering painful memories into present moments. how to find the strength of spirit to continue living positively in the moment while trying not to be sucked into a black hole of negativity created by stress,guilt,loss,trauma,etc.....dancing each day to avoid that straw that you know will break your back can be very exhausting....how does one live happily ever after????