well, it has been almost a year since "the great betrayal" , and looking back through the emotional black cloud I reflect on my journey over the last 365 days. I am not the same woman I was a year ago.  I have come to realize that life is about choices, and everyday when I wake up I have a choice to be happy, to keep an unquenchable light in my soul steady and strong. no matter what the day brings I am an island of peace( and some days it actually works) . Thank you Goddess for the opportunities to become stronger, to learn,  for my soul to progress. growth / change is never easy or pain free , but it is necessary. I alone have the power to make my life great. I have a deeper understanding of  tolerance, patience, and i am working toward forgiveness. not for them.. for myself, because i don't like the way angrybittervengeful feels in my soul.  I am still struggling with trust, one has to be willing to row a boat across an ocean  to get to my heart as all the bridges have been demolished by monsters....time may yet heal that too. I am a work in progress, focusing on each moment as it comes, enjoying the simple things and making them memorable. I still have the occasional slip into self pity, and there are still moments when i want to cry for what was lost, and yes there is still that small pocket of raging anger, but this too shall pass. sewing has kept me sane, channeling all that negative maelstrom energy into a positive creative force has been cathartic. getting lost in my art is a safe place feel , to let loose those energies, to find my center, my balance, my focus.and come back to the world refreshed and renewed.  recently the bad penny has resurfaced in surprising areas of my life. I am not sure how I feel about that. but i suppose at some point our paths would have to cross again , we do live in the same town. I choose to walk on higher ground. Karma is . and i am manifesting good things in my life . where i go from here is up to me. I am living my inner truth, helping others when i can, and trying to stay focused on all the positive things in my life.