Snowy days

Living in the adirondacks brings snowy winter days. So beautiful to watch, not so much fun to drive in. We were blessed with almost 2 feet of snow over the last 4 days. Noticing that living in town there is no place to put the snow. Definitely need better snow removal than a shovel.

on my brain this morning

photo by Jeni Ferguson

"There is a road , no simple highway, between the dawn and the dark of night" ~ the late grateful Jerry Garcia

What will you do with the path you have chosen? what miracles will you witness on your road today?

Will you be too busy to notice the beauty of frosty windows? What will your choices bring you?

Will you hear the music in the air? Will you feel the heartbeat of nature? Between this dawn and this dark of night , What memories will you create? Your life is the sum of your choices, make it rich and full of wonder.

photo by Jeni Ferguson

There is beauty in simple things.
There is life in black and white.
I prefer shades of gray.
I wander , I see.
marvelous unfoldings.
miracles in miniature.
where is the wind blowing you?

sipping 9 bend dragon tea , contemplating .... I seem to do a lot of that. tea and thinking. It is a theme through my life. I have a journal, a beautiful blue one given to me by a very dear friend. I am going to write all my brilliant revelations. who knows ..maybe in 2000 years people will tell my stories and maybe  even found a religion . time to get out of my head and into the reality of my day.

settling into new routines. the crazy rush of moving in is slowing. this house feels like home. more everyday I feel amazed by the changes I have wrought in my life in such a short time. I asked the Universe to bring me peace, and then I made a conscious effort to find a space to create that peace. together the Universe and I have brought into reality that which I was dreaming of. as this new path opens before me I am ever choosing positive answers to life's new questions. seeking to live kindness and breathe compassion. striving to always be a light in the darkness. sometimes I slip or stray ..but always I find my way back into the heart .

Life is Good.

winter is coming , the geese are getting fat.....
took a beautiful walk through my sleepy town at 5a.m. this morning. Snow falling lightly , just enough to make everything beautiful. Now sitting quietly sipping tea dreaming of the gardens i will build in the back yard in the spring. I am content with life. I love the new house more each day. I am enjoying the creative process of making this house as funky and original as me. This winter will be spent in a creative frenzy , no dormant hibernation for me. I shall color my world wonderful outside the lines.

I am feeling more settled and at home every day. I love the new space . Creating all good energy vibes here. Putting in the physical and spiritual work to make this a safe and happy home for my family. It's all about balance, focus and love. feeling joyous and free for the first time in many years. I now have possibility and hope.

yesterday was a very strange twilight zone energy day. everything was barely controlled chaos. folks emotions were all over the map. stupid little things causing communication errors. maybe this mercury retrograde is really a thing.

election thoughts

I did not vote for Mitt or Obama. They are both cogs in the wheel of american destruction. I cast my vote for green party candidate Jill Stein. She offers a reasonable, sustainable plan for the future. I wish that more of americans would wake up. brainwashed sheep have replaced the dreamers and doers of past generations. blinded by hate/racism/religion/etc these sheep are blindly destroying all that is good. my one shining light of hope is the generation coming of voting age now. they are throwing off the sheepskin and moving forward with purpose. look out..times they are a changin.

snuggled in my bed. not feeling great tonight. hope i am not catching one of the many viruses making the rounds. Interesting day today, weird energy. felt slightly off all day, like I was out of phase with reality. Long work day as I have my regular job , then respite hours. good news is I have an appt next tuesday to finish up my half sleeve on the left arm. yay!  this weekend will be moving the rest of 14's stuff from the old house, clean up , and unpacking and organizing here at Raven's Nest. I miss my heart in NYC. He is busy busy with all this storm damage. 12 hour days plus weekends and no vacations for many weeks. It always seems when one area of life is very good , another has to balance it out as not so good.

Our first Halloween in the new house . Strange to get trick or treaters, never had that at the old house. chit chat with other townies. it's interesting. still getting used to good mornings on my way out to work. have not been woken up by the ghost for at least a week. maybe she decided she likes us.

Today I dance with my gypsy cousins. I love Halloween :) it is my favorite holiday

sitting here in the pre-dawn half light , sipping tea in the quiet. contemplating . It's strange to feel so at home here, yet it still feels strange to be here. There is a part of me that is afraid I will wake up back in the nightmare. It is hard to believe that I am free of all that negativity. I recently made a trip back to the old house to get more stuff out and clean up. It was weird going back, it no longer feels homey. just a shell that all the life and laughter has left. I have one more day of moving/cleaning this weekend then it is full steam ahead to a bright future. The kids are very happy here, and I love having my own space. I am finally used to the noises and lights at night and am actually sleeping soundly. I have so far been successful at avoiding the town gossips , another perk to town living ...everybody knows your business. I keep my life low key here..no naked midnight moonlight dancing..and I suppose that topless mowing is out this summer.

well so far so good. we survived the night. not terribly bad here . some rain heavy at times and some windy gusts but I still have power. my heart in NYC is also well. He was subjected to howling winds and flooding rains. I wish he was here with me, but do to his job and all the damage in NYC I will probably not see him for many weekends.

sitting in the early morning quiet listening to the sounds of town life. it is so very different from my previous house no crickets or coy dogs here. instead i wake up to cars carrying folks to work, trucks passing through to make deliveries, the occasional dog barking. I am enjoying the social aspect of living in town, I have given up my hermitage in the woods. It is time for me to come out of the cocoon and spread my wings. I have unpacked several boxes of memories and all my books, this house is fast becoming home. you get out of life what you put into it, and right this moment everything is good.

It has been almost a month since I moved into the new house. It's still sort of strange and surreal. The first time I walked into this house I felt like I was home. In a weird way I feel like I have always lived here, yet I know that I have only been here for a short time. I have experienced many instances of deja vu since moving in here.  Life has been moving forward in a positive way . Since leaving the old house I feel a huge weight has been lifted. It is nice to live in a home where I don't have to lock the bedroom door. Freedom is a beautiful thing. We have had a few activities from our resident ghost, nothing scary though. I think she likes us here.

Finally settling in to our new home. The furniture was delivered saturday so we have an actual living room. unpacking memories to decorate the shelves and walls. It is finally starting to feel like a home.  I set up my sewing room at the front of the house, and since it is zoned commercial/residential I can run a sewing business from my house( this makes me very happy) . Life is settling in to this new groove and I am digging it. I was very excited to learn that our house is haunted. lots of cupboards opening and closing in the night , hearing random giggles / voices when I am the only one home. I will have to research this house and find out more about past inhabitants. I cant wait until next spring so I can start working in the gardens, so much potential.

sititng in the lobby of the Jambo Lodge listening to the sounds blend to form a background of musical noise. the excitement of guests arriving, the sadness of guests departing. the clank of folks dining in Boma, soft footfalls of people passing through the lobby. the waterfalls and african music . the sounds of life going on.

vacation

Lying in my hotel bed I gaze out over the african savannah. watching zebra and giraffe meander past the balcony .5 days spent at Disney's animal kingdom Jambo lodge. It has been an amazing vacation. hung out at mickey's not so scary halloween party, did the kilimanjaro safari,wine and food tasting at epcot( where I got engaged at the Ireland kiosk) ate dinners at several yummy hot spots (boma, jiko, narcoosee, and a polynesian luau) I am heading back to new york in few hours. back to the reality of painting and fixing up stuff in my new home. but I will always carry in my heart these last five magical days with my love. life is amazing.

the Mara

food at Disney is I must say top notch stuff. Had a quick meal at the mara, a hummus filled falafel and a side of couscous that was absolutely amazing. and the dessert, the doma, was out of this world. we eat like kings here. I will probably gain ten pounds this weekend but it will be so worth it :)

enroute to disney

currently cruising at 34,400 feet . saw a beautiful sunrise out the plane window and the flight is 23 min ahead of schedule. great start to vacation week. sipping apple/cranberry juice and nibbling cookies.

woohoo!!!

so excited right now. leaving for the airport in 30 minutes. catching a plane to sunny florida. gonna live with the animals for the weekend. and trick or treat with mickey mouse!!!! life is very good .

vacation!!!!!

t minus 2 hours and 45 min until I am headed south. NYc tonight ..tomorrow DISNEYWORLD!!!
going to spend a long weekend with my love in his favorite place on earth. taking a much needed break from unpacking and painting . my life is so full of good things. I am blessed a hundred fold. thank you universe !! :)

progress

I spent the weekend moving more stuff. I really need to have a sale and tame the monster. putting up a closet system so i can put all my clothes away. painting and more painting, it's starting to come together.  I  really love my new home. I keep having this weird sense of deja vu like I have been in this house before but I haven't been. my love was up this weekend and worked hard to help me get settled in. best part of the weekend ...snuggling in his arms to sleep.

crazy good stuff

Finally closed on the house. moved the bulk of my belongings last weekend. moving more this weekend. I love the new house, working on making it a home. lots of work , but it feels good to have my own space. I  am still a little nervous sleeping in town . I spent 14 years living in the woods, so it's weird to have street lights and noise. The girls love it. They get to spend more time with their friends. life is good. I am on a brighter path to the future , I think I need some shades :)

holding my breath

we finally got another closing date for the house. This has been a roller coaster ride of epic proportions. I don't ever want to do this again. I will live in this home until I die. I am not going to get excited until we actually sign the papers. We are buying an old home built in 1851. I am moving from 14 years in the woods ..into  TOWN . big change for all of us, but I am positive it will be a good one. I love the house, it feels like home. so I am holding my breath, life on hold until we sign. then begins the big move. changing my entire life. for the better.

mooning

 

photo by Jeni Ferguson 

what is it about the moon that stirs souls and hearts?

drawing dreams to strange tides

dust in the attic

Sitting quietly in a room at the top of the stairs, surrounded by boxes of memories, I wait patiently for life to begin again.

trying to understand the math

So I admit math is not my strongest talent. I in fact hate it. I am trying to figure out the math behind the republican economic strategy, which is basically cut taxes and or give tax incentives to the rich and corporations, and tax the hell out of the poor and the middle class.

 so, in a nut shell, we are going to give rich people and corporations more money which supposedly will create jobs( although it doesn't appear to be working that way , it seems the money is going to bonuses) and take more money out of the pockets of the middle class and the poor( leaving them with little to no discretionary income to spend)

I fail to see how this is going to help the economy . with the majority of americans barely making ends meet they will not be buying any products they don't need. this means less money circulating and if no one is purchasing goods and services then companies are going to either close or downsize. less jobs-less money - horrible downward spiral.

makes no sense.

consumerism even in death

so I was thinking about funerals, and all the trappings that go along with them.I think funeral homes pray on the grieving family's distress...don't worry we'll take care of everything...and then a huge bill at the end.  Why not make informed choices now and save your family the stress later.  Is it really necessary to go in debt 10-20 thousand dollars to bury a loved one. I think not. Embalming is not required . so you can save there. and if you build a pine box you can bury your loved one for cheap, and in a way that is environmentally friendly. Think about all those millions of lead lined coffins that will never decompose. just filling up space in the earth where green things could grow. Why not go green with our dead. save money and save the earth ..it's a win win . I kinda like the idea of decomposing into a tree or flower garden . it has a beautiful symmetry to it.

go here http://www.greenburials.org/ for some interesting food for thought.

I have been sorely neglecting this blog. I need to make space and time to write . I feel better when I can just let it flow. I will have to make a conscious effort to blog at least once a week.

ch ch ch changes

so, over the last few months I have been re-arranging my home and my life. I am feeling oh so much better about a lot of things. letting go of that which no longer serves a positive purpose, and  re-invigorating my life with things which bring in good energy. Happily moving forward with lessons learned . I feel lighter , free, more like the easy going girl I was before you. I am making space for time with true friends, and crafty creative fun, and outdoor adventure. feeding my soul . waking up awesome. life is good.

feeling very disheartened today. I guess people never really change. After everything , lies still roll off your tongue like liquid kryptonite. And I am so tired of sharing a home with someone who is untrustworthy and dishonest. I am tired of the disrespect inherent in the lying and the sneaking around . I don't want to be in this scenario anymore. It's time to make some positive changes to my surroundings.  It is time to take steps to create truly separate lives. It is time for me to take back my life and create space where i can live happily. Change is not going to be easy, but it is necessary.